BY SETU SHIROYA, MS-II TCU , WITH NEHA SOOGOOR, MS-II TCU; EDITED BY JAYESH SHARMA, MS-II TCU
Breathe in. Breathe out.
It is my first day in the clinic. My heart is racing in my white coat that I have little confidence wearing. My anxiety skyrockets, as do my feelings of not belonging.
What if my attending doesn’t like me? What if I make a mistake? What if my patient starts crying? How do I do a lung auscultation again? What does losartan do?
I can’t remember. I can’t think.
Breathe in. Breathe out.
I have been studying the whole day, my career-defining board exam is in one week, my head is throbbing, my eyelids are drooping. I am clicking through flashcards but nothing sticks. The days are merging into one; someone asked me for the day of the week, and I came up blank.
Breathe in. Breathe out. Breathe in. Breathe out.
Only one year into medical school, and everything feels like a dream. I’ve made it so far, yet the future seems so daunting. I love my life but also fear it at the same time. I want to keep going. I’m excited, but I’m nervous. Where am I in my life? Do I even belong here? Am I the only one thinking this?
Breathe in. Breathe out.
I say it to myself over and over again—my thoughts have been spiraling for days. I need to breathe. I need to calm down.
Breathe in. Breathe out.
I do belong here. I’ve made it so far in this journey; the hard work, the endless hours were not in vain. There is so much more to go and I remind myself that I am excited. I just need to take it one step at a time.
Breathe in. Breathe out.
I am going to be present for patients. I will be a doctor. One step at a time.
Breathe in. Breathe out.
The rampaging thoughts settle, my mind clears, and I open my eyes.
It’s going to be okay.
The morning alarm rings, and my first thought is always the same: “Can I sleep for five more minutes and not think about the long day ahead?” I have stressful exams to take and sometimes dread the workload awaiting me. It feels like the only quiet time I get is in the morning, when I am drinking coffee, working out, or just embracing the quietness. I try to find time to relax, but burnout feels like it is always looming over my shoulder. However, mindfulness and meditation have helped me reorient myself and develop a healthy way to process these feelings.
What does it truly mean to be mindful? To me, mindfulness is staying grounded to what is in the present moment. It can be easy to think of the past or try to anticipate the future. However, the only inevitability we hold is this present moment. Not a second before, not a second after.
How can we practice this? Mindfulness comes in many forms; some find relief in running or weightlifting, making it a point to have a constant regimen at the gym. Others find it through meditation, focusing on breathing and relaxing the mind. These share one commonality: a mental space we create where we stop thinking about the past or trying to anticipate the future, focusing instead on what is present within and around us. There isn’t one answer to seeking mindfulness; the greatest difficulty lies in knowing where to begin.
As medical students and future doctors we are expected to quickly calm ourselves after these stressful moments and proceed. Sadhguru, a guru who is the founder of the Isha Foundation, states: “Fear, anger, resentment, and stress are poisons you create in your mind. If you take charge of your mind, you can create a chemistry of blissfulness”.1 It is especially easy in a hectic and high-paced environment or period of life to get lost in our thoughts about the stressors we experience. Our thoughts are like clouds. We can either let them pass, or we can dive into them. Taking control of our mind to let the clouds pass, helping our mind become still and focus on the present, is difficult.
This is where meditation techniques can help train our mind. Meditation techniques often involve bringing awareness to a single action or sound. For example, they can be used to bring awareness to your breathing or the repetition of a few words. One method I use is called “4-7- 8 breathing.” Close your eyes. Breathe in for four seconds through your nose. Hold your breath for seven seconds. Breathe out for eight seconds through your mouth. As you inhale, stay aware of how the air flows through your body, from the tip of your nose to your navel. As you exhale, follow the air out from your navel to your mouth. Repeat this about two to three times.
At TCU Burnett School of Medicine, our Meditation and Mindfulness Student Interest Group aims to educate medical students about techniques such as 4-7-8 breathing and help them stay engaged in healthy mindful practices to avoid burnout. Our goal is to cultivate a supportive student community dedicated to mindfulness, fostering connection through monthly meditation sessions, inspiring physician guest speakers, and meaningful community volunteering.
It is going to be okay.
My mother always told me, “Take it one step at a time, one day at a time.” As medical students, we’re often exposed to patients and situations that can take an emotional toll on our mental well-being; times such as witnessing a patient’s death or delivering a life-shattering diagnosis. Before we can process what we’ve witnessed, we’re often thrown back into a fast-paced environment without a moment to rest. In such a high intensity life, grounding ourselves with activities that bring comfort and ease becomes crucial to our mental well-being. My hope is that we future physicians can practice mindfulness early, so that we can be present for our patients. In turn, we can help our patients be mindful as we work together throughout our most difficult moments to maintain healthy behaviors.
References:
1. Sadhguru Quotes – Fear, anger, resentment, and stress are poisons you create. If you take charge, you can create a chemistry of blissfulness within yourself. Accessed February 13, 2025. https://isha.sadhguru.org/en/wisdom/quotes/date/december-06-2021
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